Getting your parent’s approval for your love marriage can be difficult. There could be plenty of reasons why they’re against it, including different ethnicity or religion, same-sex, or they don’t like the person. Try talking to them and take baby steps to gradually get them to see your viewpoints about love marriage and why you think your partner is worth it. They must meet the partner once they’re ready so they can take their time to get to know them. If your parents don’t like your partner hear their concerns and try to find a solution if they’re reasonable. It might take longer but don’t rush things, or things could quickly go south.
Love is a tricky thing. But when you find the perfect partner you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’re ready to find ways to make that dream come true, even if it’s convincing parents for it.
Your parents might be against love marriage or not approve of your partner because they might not know them well. On the other hand, it could be a misunderstanding, a wrong first impression, or other possible reasons why they’re against it.
But how do you convince your parents of your love marriage? Going against your parents shouldn’t be your first solution; there are other steps you can take to make your parents agree.
How to convey your love marriage dreams to your parents
You might find it the stupidest thing to consider because why would they ever want to sit down, and how would you convince them?
But you might be surprised to know that many things can be solved by communicating your feelings.
Your parents aren’t your enemy, and there might be some reason why they aren’t ready for this relationship to turn into a marriage.
Parents only want their children to have a happy married life.
It’s only right to sit down with your parents and find the root cause of the issue.
1. Get to know your parent’s view on love marriage
If you need to convince your parents about love marriage, you must handle the situation gradually and take baby steps.
This means spending quality time with your parents and slowly opening up to them about your personal life.
Most children move away after growing up, forming a gap in the parent-child relationship. To remove this emotional gap, you must form a solid understanding with your parents as adults this time.
They need to understand you’re an adult ready to make their own decisions. These could be good or bad, but these are yours to make.
You can’t expect them to just agree with every decision if you don’t explain to them where you’re coming from and why you took that decision.
2. Talk about your views on love marriage
Parents usually take the lead with marriage talks and try having a more open conversation whenever they do.
You can start discussing successful marriages of your friends or cousins as examples and slowly talk about the benefits of marrying for love.
If they’re entirely against love marriage, they will try to disagree and not discuss things further. Things won’t change overnight, so indulge in such conversations more often.
3. Talk about your partner to your parents
Once you think they agree to love marriage or think it’s not that bad, you bring up your love story.
Parents wish for a person who is independent and financially stable for their children. So if your partner is settled down, you can expect a positive reaction.
Please talk about the positives about your partner, how you met them, and how long you have known them. Of course, no person is perfect, so you shouldn’t idealize your partner to your parents.
You could talk about their imperfections or how they handled situations where you fell short as an equal partner. This will make them understand your partner’s character more.
4. Introduce your partner
Any parent would want to meet their child’s life partner and get to know them before agreeing to marriage. Think from your parent’s perspective by putting yourself in their shoes.
The first meeting is essential because that’s when they will form an impression of your partner.
I believe dressing up nicely also makes a lot of difference as it shows how sincere your significant other is about marrying you and how necessary is your parent’s approval for them.
When meeting with parents, ensure you do it on a weekend when everyone is stress-free and doesn’t have to rush anywhere. This will give your family plenty of time to get to know your partner.
As your parent’s child, you might get this need to speak for your partner to make your parents more agreeable about this match but don’t do it.
Speaking for your partner shows your significant other isn’t confident enough to speak for themselves.
Be there to support your partner but let your parents talk directly to your partner.
What if my parents disapprove of my partner?
When you’re in love with someone, you want your parents, friends, and siblings to love them and approve of your relationship.
But when that doesn’t happen, you feel frustrated and want things to work out in your favor.
It’s challenging to convince your parents in such situations, but talking to them can solve things faster than just avoiding the problem.
1. Honesty is the best policy
Being honest about your relationship with your parents can bring the issues to the surface.
There’s a possibility your parents had a bad first impression or heard some rumor which isn’t true about your partner.
2. Know your parent’s concerns
Please get to know your parents’ concerns and keep an open mind when conversing with them.
Getting angry in the middle of the discussion will only heat things up, and things might get more tangled rather than solved.
3. Focus on the partner’s positives
Talk about the positives of your relationship and the things that made you fall in love with them.
Also, things that made you realize you want to marry your partner.
4. Earn your parent’s trust
Getting your parents to trust your relationship is essential, so try to know what will make them feel comfortable.
If it’s something that can be done, like making your partner more involved in the family or some other reasonable thing, then you should talk to your partner.
5. Consider your partner’s opinion
Talk to your partner and get to know if there are things your parents do they’re uncomfortable with. If they make reasonable claims, and your parents do too, try to mediate between them.
6. Create boundaries
You can create boundaries for issues, so your partner and parents are comfortable.
For example, if you and your partner don’t want to have children, but your parents want you to, then you can tell your parents to give you space.
7. Avoid taking sides
Avoid taking your parents’ side and prevent them from disrespecting your partner or vice versa.
Don’t be double-faced either, because the truth might come to the surface one day or another. Even if there’s disagreement, try to agree to disagree.
Things won’t get solved within days, so reflect on the conversations with your parents. Take your time, think about their concerns, and give equal importance to where they are coming from.
Maybe they don’t approve of the religion, ethnicity, or same-sex relationship you might be in. So, taking your time is vital if you believe they will support you or are willing to approve.
What if things don’t work out with your parents?
It could be that your parents never agree to you being in a relationship with your partner.
If it stands on unreasonable grounds such as ethnicity, same gender, or a different religion, then it might be time to make a hard decision.
If you have known this person for a long time and you took your time deciding this is what you want, and this is with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, then be ready for it.
Involving your extended family might feel disrespectful to your parents. Instead, your decision and thoughts about love marriage should come from you directly.
Also, never retreat to emotional blackmail because you’re making your parents suffer and be afraid of saying anything they believe in.
Get ready emotionally and mentally to make a decision your parents won’t approve of. At the end of the day, you’re an adult who is prepared to make your decisions.
Be it bad or good, if your parents can’t stand beside you or support you through them, you might have to make this decision by yourself.
Maybe with time, they will start coming around when they see you made a decision with which you’re happy and content.