If your husband seeks more sex, it could be due to multiple reasons. There might be a sudden libido increase, or it could also be compulsive sexual behavior, using sex as escapism, or just a wrong sexual partner for you. You should assess your feelings and mental side effects and look at the signs your body is giving you to determine your sex limit. Openly communicate with your partner to determine solutions for this issue and seek a sex therapist for a professional outlook.
Being intimate with your partner is an excellent way of showing love for them. Indulging in sexual activities is both healthy and common for a couple in a healthy relationship.
But people generally believe that men are more interested in having sex than women, which isn’t true at all. Sex could be an enjoyable activity for both genders.
As we all know honeymoon period is real, but after a certain point of time, your sex life kind of slows down, which is both normal and healthy.
The problem is, how much sex is too much? How to recognize your husband wanting sex all the time isn’t normal? Is having too much sex a problem?
Having a high libido
Having a high libido is considered healthy, and sometimes it might become stronger than ever. It could be due to the following reasons:
- Sometimes during a particular period, your hormones could go into overdrive, and you might want to have sex more than ever.
- When you’re indulging in an active lifestyle where you work out regularly, it does lead to a higher sex drive. Another factor is that when you feel good about yourself, you want to engage in sex more than ever.
- Being with your current partner is a more sexually fulfilled experience than it was before with your previous partner, so you wish to continue indulging in more sex.
- When we experience less stress and anxiety in our daily lives, it leaves more room for an intimate connection like sex. High stress relates to higher cortisol levels which impact your sex drive. So less stress means a higher sex drive.
- Before, if you were on some sort of medication and now changed or stopped taking it, that could be another factor that led to a sudden increase in your sex drive. Antidepressants can negatively impact your sex drive.
Sometimes all that there is behind your husband wanting too much sex is because their sex drive might have suddenly increased due to the reasons mentioned above.
Compulsive sexual behavior
An excessive desire to have sex all the time could be a sign of hypersexuality disorder or sexual addiction as well.
It’s when all you think about is sex, including sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that are difficult to control. It could become so significant that it impacts your health, job, relationships, and other aspects of your life.
Symptoms
- Feeling driven to do certain sexual behaviors, feeling a release of the tension afterward, but also feeling guilt or remorse.
- Unsuccessfully trying to reduce or control your sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors.
- Using compulsive sexual behaviors to escape other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety, or stress.
- Continuing to engage in sexual behaviors that have serious consequences, such as the potential for getting or giving someone else a sexually transmitted infection, the loss of important relationships, trouble at work, financial strain, or legal problems.
- Trouble establishing and maintaining healthy and stable relationships.
The problem with going through something like this is that your husband won’t be reasonable or admit to the actual issue. It could be embarrassing to admit to it and also feel alienated.
But there are various treatments available and even steps you can take to prevent indulging in these extreme sexual behaviors in the future. It’s essential to get the right help you deserve from a professional.
Using sex as a form of escapism
It could also be possible that your husband is indulging in too much sex or wants to indulge in too much sex because he’s using sex as a form of escapism.
He might be trying to avoid having difficult conversations or using it when you’re in the middle of an argument just to get away with difficult situations.
People do use sex as a coping mechanism and to keep their partner away from doing the talk.
The dopamine rush you get from having sex is nothing short of getting high and feeling good. This is avoiding heavy conversations, feeling low, and dealing with difficult human emotions.
It can also easily become an exhaustive cycle. Because as soon as the high fades, there comes a low point. It forces you to rush into having sex again and feel that high all over again.
It could be a way for your husband to cope with his various emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, stress, frustration, or even when he’s feeling bored.
Wrong sexual partner
Another possibility to consider would be that you’re not the right sexual partner. It’s not wrong in any way, but it’s a possibility to consider. Not every person has the same libido, and your sex drive could be different for you and your husband.
While he wants to have more frequent sex, you’re just not that interested. That is normal for you and him separately, but it could create marital issues together as a couple.
It’s important to note how much sex is too much for you in this relationship, which can be done in the following ways:
Know your feelings
Think about how much is too much for you. Not to your partner but to you alone. Is the amount of sex you have with your partner too much to handle?
How many times out of those times do you actually want to have sex and feel like wanting to have sex?
Is it your partner who’s telling you that you don’t have enough sex, or is it you who feels like this much physical intimacy is too overwhelming for you?
Knowing your limits makes it best to know how much is too much for you.
The physical effects
Your body could be a telltale of you realizing you’re having too much sex. Over time if we’re indulging too much in these activities, our bodies have several signs to notice. This includes:
- Chafing
- Soreness or numbness
- Inflammation or swelling
- Pain during intercourse
- Urinary tract infection
- Strained neck
It’s a fun-filled physical activity; if you see these signs, it’s probably too much for you.
Mental side effects
Indulging in too much sex could also mess up your mind. It could be too much when the frequency starts stressing you out. It becomes gross, or you feel guilty and do not think about it again.
If it feels like work and something you must do for your partner’s sake, then it’s too much for you, and you’re being emotionally manipulated into having too much sex.
It could make you feel repulsive towards your partner as well.
How can you stop your husband from wanting sex all the time?
If you feel this is not what you want and you feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or even repulsed by the frequency of sex you’re having, then it’s time to speak to your husband and communicate your feelings to him.
It’s important to initiate a conversation about it and keep at it without allowing him to indulge in another activity in the middle of the conversation.
It can be challenging, but if you don’t feel comfortable with the frequency of sex or feel like you’re doing it only for your husband’s sake, then it’s basically him forcing you into doing it.
Get to know how he feels and what he thinks about all the sex you’re having. Does he feel it’s too much as well? Why is he indulging in this much sex lately?
Also, open up about how you feel and how this makes you feel. There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about by being open in front of your husband.
If this isn’t what you want, you need to find ways to deal with this together as a couple by talking it out.
Find out if he’s doing this because he’s trying to avoid something or escape from a particular emotion.
It’s not just one conversation that you should be looking after but multiple over a while. It can be mentally draining to continue down a path where you don’t feel comfortable doing something your partner wants to do the most.
If you feel this isn’t something you can discuss and find solutions to, then it’s best to seek a sex therapist. Don’t be ashamed or think it’s only you who’s seeking this kind of help.
You’ll be surprised to know how many couples face issues because of sexual intimacy in their lives. Seeking professional help will help you determine whether this relationship is healthy.
If your husband denies seeking help, you could be stuck in a relationship where he wants sex all the time, and you’re not comfortable, and it could be a toxic marriage you need to get out of.
References
- https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/ask-experts/is-it-ok-to-have-sex-more-than-three-times-a-day#:~:text=is%20it%20ok%20to%20have%20sex%20more%20than%203%20times,for%20you%20and%20your%20partner.
- https://smartloving.org/how-often-do-men-need-to-have-sex/#:~:text=Although%20the%20average%20appears%20to,from%20him%20to%20you%2C%20too!
- https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/compulsive-sexual-behavior/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20360453
- https://www.insider.com/guides/health/sex-relationships/high-sex-drive#:~:text=A%20high%20sex%20drive%20may,out%20to%20a%20sex%20therapist.
