I Don’t Feel Anything When My Husband Touches Me (10 Reasons Why)

Various reasons could be making you feel nothing when your husband touches you. It could be as simple as living a stressful life or losing romance. Or as complex as facing a mental health issue or falling out of love with your husband. Some of these issues could be easy to manage and solve, while others require you to contemplate your marriage. The best thing is to communicate your feelings to your partner so you can fix these issues together. Issues that are heavier or difficult to handle can be solved by seeking professional help. 

What once was the honeymoon phase after the marriage has now turned into feeling nothing when he touches you.

To say that this is rare would be lying, and it’s actually quite common for couples to feel nothing when their partner touches them anymore.

It doesn’t mean that it’s all your fault or that there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes issues are sneaky and hide under the nose until you look carefully.

Some of these issues are easily solvable, while some might require more work from you and your partner’s end.

But in any way, feeling nothing when your husband touches you isn’t a wrong thing to feel!

10 reasons why you don’t feel anything when your husband touches you

1. Stuck in a rut

The most common issue that might be responsible for this feeling is the banality of the everyday life you live with your partner.

With work or children being given priority, the love life is often put on the back burner, where it slowly dies away. 

Everyday life can be pretty dull where couples get stuck working, paying bills, visiting family, or taking care of children forgetting all about each other.

You can’t expect to feel romantic all of a sudden when your husband desires physical intimacy, and it’s normal not to feel anything because the romance has died. 

2. Stress

A young married woman is too stressed with work and life to be thinking of intimacy with her husband.

Everyday life also brings the stress of things and life in general.

Gone are the days of bachelorhood when you wouldn’t have anyone to look after but just yourself.

Now there’re added responsibilities and future plannings, which means focussing more on the present-day things to secure your future. 

Stress is inevitable and is a part of life, but not when it takes over every other aspect of your life. Then it impacts everything you do negatively, including your sex life.  

Like thinking about your visit to the bank tomorrow as your husband might be trying to have an intimate time with you.

In such cases feeling nothing is bound to happen as your mind might be elsewhere. 

3. Accumulate feelings

Life is a big challenge in itself, but sometimes it’s the feelings that get accumulated in your heart stemming from something your husband might have said months ago. 

There could be instances when you were bothered by something your husband said in an argument or a snarky comment he made about something without thinking twice.

These things, if not confronted, stay in our hearts somewhere deep, resulting in pulling us away emotionally from our husbands.

Unless solved, they will make a home in your heart and stay there comfortably. 

4. Fluctuating hormones

Other times, the hormonal issues could be affecting your sex drive.

Our hormones often fluctuate, which directly impacts our sex drive and emotions and is also affected by our food. The hormones can also increase or decrease your weight and cause skin-related issues.

This, in turn, could also affect how attractive we feel in our bodies.

When you stop feeling attractive, you wouldn’t want your husband close to you, and any sexual desire would automatically be shunned. This is known as transference.  

Fluctuation of hormones can affect a woman in different ways. If you haven’t been able to bring yourself out of it, it’s best to visit a doctor and get yourself checked.

Sometimes our hormones tell us that an underlying health issue might be at play, so it’s better to seek medical help. 

5. Mental health

Mental health is equally important when you can’t maintain sexual relationships with your spouse. 

There could be various mental health issues at play in such a case.

Sometimes people don’t even realize they’re suffering from one and dismiss any warning signs that tell them they need professional help. 

A disinterest in not just a physical intimacy with your husband but anything you do in your life could be a potential sign of depression too.

It’s not always visible, and a disinterest in things is mainly something not anyone else can notice except for you. 

You could be going into severe depression, and you wouldn’t know. So, if you see other signs, too, it’s best not to gamble and seek professional help. 

6. Bed talk

A young husband and wife are on their bed talking.

It’s important to know what you and your partner like when getting intimate with each other.

And yes, these preferences can change over time too. What you liked once has changed, and sadly your partner hasn’t realized.

It’s important to communicate as much in bed as you do outside it. It’s what will make your husband know if things need a sprucing up to make you feel something.

It’s as simple as what’s working and not working in the bed. Make sure to communicate it to your husband. 

7. Going back to the basics

The thing that made you fall in love with your husband, including all their little quirks and maybe how they used to flirt or give you flowers occasionally, might be just the thing that you need to go back on. 

Or just finding new things to do together is what you need to bring back the romance that once was alive. Romantic attraction is important for many people when having sex.

When it comes to physical intimacy with your partner, you need to have that romantic attraction or spark for this lack of desire. 

8. East and west

Many couples end up marrying in haste without spending adequate time with each other.

What happens is after the initial honeymoon period is over, they come to the realization that they’re poles apart.

Compatibility issues are expected between spouses and are something that you need to see if you can adjust with or not.

We all have our red lines, and this means there’re things we can tolerate about our partner and things we can’t. 

When compatibility issues are too much to handle and take over your romantic life, you can’t help but feel anything when getting intimate with your husband.

In your mind, you might be going over things they did or said that you couldn’t bear anymore, immediately disconnecting your emotions from your body. 

9. Emotional quotient

A young married couple is happily and intimately walking at a park

Emotional intimacy directly influences physical intimacy.

When our emotions are affected, it lowers our emotional intimacy, and we don’t like getting physical either.

Women generally rely more on an emotional connection, obviously not all women and men, for either gender, emotions play an essential role in deciding if you feel something when having sex or not. 

10. Game over 

In a marriage, there are things that you can fix and bring back the lost romance, but then there’re these red flags you can’t tolerate at all.

Things such as lying, infidelity, different future goals are only some of the issues driving you away from your husband. 

Not liking your husband’s touch could also be there if you had a history of sexual trauma.

If your husband inflicted sexual trauma on you, immediately seek help from someone you trust or alert the authorities. 

You might even be contemplating marriage and if you should stay married to your husband anymore or not. Each relationship is different and delicate, and so it’s really between you and your partner if you can make it work or not. 

Seeking help

Whatever the reason, there’re ways to solve things amongst yourself, and this communication is a sign of healthy marriage.

When trying to solve these issues amongst yourself, it’s important to remember that you should communicate when there’s plenty of time.

Talking about it while you’re on your way to picking up your kid from a birthday party isn’t the right time to discuss issues.

Another thing to remember is to talk things over in a calm manner. Go into discussing things to fix your marriage and not with aggression, pride, ego, or hurt feelings. If you’re going into it with that frame of mind, you’ll end up hurting each other with words and possibly worsening it more. 

If you’re not sure you can handle things yourself, it’s always better to seek professional help. 


Can being stressed affect sex?

Everyday life can lead to stress which is a part of life. While stress to a limit is okay but it shouldn’t affect your sex life.

Going through too much stress can impact your life in different ways, such as having low libido, leading to not being able to have sex.

It’s best to talk to your partner about this issue so they know before trying to get intimate with you. You might need to opt for some physical activities which can help you relieve your stress, such as cycling or running.

Activities such as yoga and meditation can help too.

How do hormones affect your sex life?

A lack of interest in sex can be termed a sexual interest disorder. This could be a result of fluctuating hormones. It could be that your sex drive is weaker than before.

There’re symptoms to identify it, such as:

– Having no interest in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation
– Never or only seldom having sexual fantasies or thoughts
– Being concerned by your lack of sexual activity or fantasies. 

It could stem from different causes but are treatable.

Do emotions affect sex drive?

Women are generally more emotional beings than men.

Their sex drive seems to be tied to their emotional well-being, which depends on their level of happiness and satisfaction with their relationship. 

Researchers believe that these factors play a more significant role in sexual desire and should be considered when finding out the reason behind a low sex drive.

To summarise

An issue as simple as accumulated feelings over something your husband said a couple of months ago could impact your intimate relationship with them and make you feel nothing. 

Relationships are delicate, and dismissing issues are even worse under such circumstances. You should sit and contemplate the possible reason why you’re not interested, and if you’re, then why don’t you feel anything.

Some of these issues are easily solvable, but in any way, it would also require your partner’s cooperation and understanding. Communicating what makes you feel this way is essential, so they understand you and help in any way possible. 

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Hi! I’m Saumya, writer and editor at Marriage & Bliss. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” —Elizabeth Gilbert. Every marriage faces pitfalls, be they internal or external, and with my words, I hope to help couples find possible solutions and mend their broken relationships. After all, a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
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