What Should My Goal In Life Be If I Don’t Want Children? (Is Life Meaningless Without Children?)

You don’t necessarily need to have a big goal in life if you don’t want children. A survey conducted by the Pew Research Center of 3,800 plus Americans reveals that 44% of non-parents said it’s not too likely or not likely at all they’ll have kids someday. Childcare cost is one of the major motivating factors behind this decision. Around 56% of women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s wish to remain child-free. Also a rising trend amongst millennial women who wish to be more educated, thus postponing having children until a later age or not having them at all. You can take up multiple hobbies or explore different activities. If you don’t have a particular goal, you can just enjoy your life in its full glory by trying out different things.

It seems normal to hear people around you getting married and having kids. From the outside, it looks like an easy decision for them to make while you’re struggling with yours.

While you keep thinking, when the right time comes, you’ll get this feeling that you want kids, for some, this feeling might never come.

If you’re currently deciding whether you want to have kids, this post might help you out a bit. What should you do next if you don’t wish for kids? What should your goal in life be?

What if I don’t want children?

Going with the flow as society expects from each of us, we should find a suitable job and life partner, get married and have kids at the right time.

While for some people going according to this plan might work, and they feel fulfilled and content doing so, not every person would want to follow suit.

Some percentage of the population might never want to get married, or if they do, they might not want to have kids.

But societal pressure dictates that we do achieve these life goals.

The pressure has increased more so for this generation as social media dictates most of our lives, and watching our friends accomplish these life goals might make us feel alienated.

It’s okay to decide not to want children. Of course, it’s hard to go against societal pressure, and most of all, your parents want you to have children.

But when you know it’s something you don’t want, and without having kids, you can lead a more fulfilled life, then it’s something you have to put your foot down and go ahead with.

Is life meaningless without children?

Having or not having kids is a heavy decision to make. Once you decide to have a child, you’re responsible for them until they become adults.

You have to take care of them physically and mentally. This means giving them good advice and helping them understand right and wrong while giving them a chance to be their own person without imposing your viewpoint on them.

It’s a delicate thing to balance, and as a parent, you face thousands of hurdles when your kid is growing up.

When making a decision, this is what you have to think about.

Mom and dad are sitting down on the sofa looking stressed out as their 2 kids are running around the living room loudly

While this is just the tip of the iceberg, you must evaluate how having a kid will affect your lifestyle and if you’re ready to give some things up or compromise on stuff.

Many adults succumb to the pressure of having kids but afterward regret the decision and thus end up becoming terrible parents.

A similar thing could happen if you decide to have a baby at a young age when you aren’t ready for the responsibility.

Not only are you betraying yourself but that child, too, who didn’t have a say in being born into this world.

Take your time and think about the pros and cons; this decision will affect you and your future child.

While you can consult others, remember the decision is totally yours to make and carry out afterward.

What to do in life if you don’t want kids?

When you bring a child into this world, the next 20 years of your life are gone by in taking care of them. You remain engaged from the moment they’re born until they become adults.

If not changing diapers, then resolving their issues as a teenager and helping them in decision-making by always being there for them.

Being a parent is a full-time job, so if you have decided you don’t want children in life, this huge gap remains.

While you will meet your friends who would say they’re busy doing this and that for their kids and really don’t have enough free time for themselves, you will have plenty of time for yourself.

That’s actually a good thing because now you can literally do whatever you want and take up as many hobbies as you want.

Extroverted people can take up hiking, travel worldwide, volunteer work, and so on.

An introvert can take up hobbies like taking baking lessons, reading books, taking online classes, gardening, and so on.

A young woman who is passionate about restoring furniture is working on restoring an old wooden chair

As a woman, you’re expected to excel in your work and manage your home. While husbands are changing and attempting to bear the equal workload, it’s okay to live your life stress-free without children as an added responsibility.

Instead of spending thousands of dollars on raising a child, you can use that money for self-improvement.

Even if you’re a homebody, there might be things you have always wanted to do, and now as a financially independent person, you can follow those desires.

You can be the fun aunt that your sibling’s kids have and drop the kids back at home at the end of the day instead of taking responsibility for them for the next 20 years.

Even if you don’t have a specific goal to replace the need for not having children, exploring is okay. Try different activities and hobbies and see what suits you best.


Do people regret not having children?

Regretting not having children might differ from person to person. There’s no right or wrong in this, and you have to decide for yourself rather than get influenced by someone.

Regret about having or not having children might be high if someone influences your decision. Then you might end up blaming the other person for how your life turned out.

So take your time and think about why you want to have children.

Is it to fulfill the societal pressure and please your parents, or is it because it will bring you fulfillment and happiness?

How common is it to not want kids?

More than 1 in 5 US adults don’t want kids due to multiple factors. Most childfree adults make their decision in their teens or 20s and end up following it.

More than 1 in 5 US adults don’t want kids due to multiple factors. Most childfree adults make their decision in their teens or 20s and end up following it.

People wish to remain child-free due to the possible reasons:

  • Environmental concerns
  • Economical concerns
  • Wanting personal independence
  • Avoiding work/life balance crisis

Do childless marriages last longer?

Just because you don’t want to have a child doesn’t mean your relationship with your partner will change and end up in divorce.

Of course, your partner and you both need to have a similar viewpoint about not having children to remain on the same page.

A childless marriage necessarily won’t last longer than a family with children.

It’s just that when children come into the picture, parents are more reluctant to get a divorce.

Since they think a divorce will impact kids’ lives, remaining together is better.

What are the disadvantages of a childless family?

Not having children might have possible disadvantages. One might start feeling lonely and alone after a certain time passes, and you might feel like you’re missing something crucial in life.

You might also feel a lack of support and care in your old age and might miss the feeling of parenthood.

Are childless couples more likely to cheat?

According to a study, parents are nearly twice as likely to cheat as a married couple without children.

With children, life becomes busier, and parents have little to no time for each other.

While one partner gets involved more in the household, the other partner has an excuse to find companionship elsewhere or vice versa.

With children out of the picture, the couple has more time for each other and can maintain their intimacy more efficiently.

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Hi! I’m Saumya, writer and editor at Marriage & Bliss. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” —Elizabeth Gilbert. Every marriage faces pitfalls, be they internal or external, and with my words, I hope to help couples find possible solutions and mend their broken relationships. After all, a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
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