Living a single life is great, but when you find the love of your life, you start imagining your future with them. While getting married to the love of your life is a dream come true, it’s only the start of your journey together as a couple.
Right from starting planning a wedding, each couple faces numerous minor and sometimes big issues. It’s not the destination but the journey you take as a couple together that’s memorable.
And along this journey as a married couple, you’ll face issues, be it with your in-laws or your kids and sometimes even with each other as you grow together in this marriage.
Handling marital issues is crazy and takes a lot of effort, but it’s worth it when you resolve them.
So let’s look at what kind of issues you might face or could be facing as a married couple.
Building relationships with in-laws as a newly married couple
Marriage might seem like a bed of roses initially, but every couple has to deal with several issues.
However much we think that we won’t face problems in our marriage, everything changes after you get married.
While most couples think they won’t face issues or struggles with in-laws in anticipation of forming good ties after marriage, it doesn’t always work out that way.
A mix of patriarchal traditions, media narrative, and character in pop culture are also big influencers, dictating that ties with in-laws would be tense or toxic for women.
Navigating a relationship with your in-laws is tricky.
As you join a new family, you must learn or find ways to adjust to the new family your spouse loves and cares for.
Since there’s no rulebook to let you know how you should behave, act, or what to say, everything is on a trial-and-error basis.
Most couples face issues because they can’t find common ground, such as shared belief, and thus cannot form a mutual understanding.
In a US study conducted in 2022, both men and women reported having more conflict with their mothers-in-law than their mothers.
At the same time, mothers indicated having more conflict with their daughters-in-law than their daughters.
While there will always be some struggles a married couple faces with in-laws, let us provide some helpful tips or ways to deal with and resolve some of these common issues, which include:
- How to manage in-law expectations
- How to establish boundaries with in-laws without causing conflict
- Managing a narcissistic sister-in-law
- How often to visit in-laws after marriage
Managing the relationship with in-laws after having kids
Parents with kids tend to develop more issues and conflicts with in-laws than child-free couples.
This is because navigating a relationship with in-laws is as hard as it is, and having a kid promotes everyone.
This means now you must start from scratch and be prepared to learn to deal with the newer roles of your in-laws, now grandparents.
Many couples face conflicts with in-laws that increase after the birth of their first child.
Now grandparents would try to interfere in how you should raise your children and influence your decision-making as new parents.
They might nitpick a lot, which is tolerable to some extent, but they might cross boundaries sometimes, irritating the new mother.
During pregnancy, parents need support and advice from their parents and in-laws.
While that’s good to an extent, a generational gap will always exist, creating friction between opinions.
Your MIL wishes her grandchild should be raised a certain way, but you might agree.
This entanglement of new relationships and expectations raises new issues the new parents must face.
Let us provide you with some tips and ways to deal with some of the common problems you might be facing as new parents with your in-laws and parents:
Managing relationships with in-laws
Building relationships with your in-laws after you’re newly married can be challenging, and it’s a time when you’re navigating many new connections and trying to find a balance.
Initially, you would try your best to manage your relationship best.
Still, as time passes and you get to know your in-laws and extended family members more, you might not put in as much effort, intentionally or subconsciously.
Managing the relationship and being consistent is even more difficult than navigating new relationships.
When you know your in-laws more deeply, you also tend to face more disagreements and clashes of opinions.
So trying to keep a smooth relationship can be tiring.
You must keep reminding yourself that your spouse was raised in this family, and if they have a good relationship with their parents, you must try putting in effort for their sake.
Your egos might come out and clash.
Knowing how to manage a good relationship with your in-laws is best to avoid bad consequences. Some of the common issues you might face include:
- How to navigate holidays with both in-laws
- How to handle cultural conflicts with in-laws
- How involved should in-laws be in couple decision making
- How to manage in-law conflicts
- How to handle annoying in-laws
Managing the relationship with aging in-laws
The only constant in life is change. And while no one likes change, we have to accept the reality, a part of which is aging parents and in-laws.
As much as we dislike seeing our parents age, our spouse is going through a similar emotion.
When you think about your own parents, you want to do as much as possible for them.
Like providing them with all kinds of comforts, taking them to the doctors, making sure they’re taking their medicines, and visiting them as often as possible so they don’t feel lonely.
We do this for our parents without any issue, but it can get a bit challenging when it comes to our in-laws.
However much we think of them as our parents, you can’t do it all alone if your partner isn’t equally involved.
Taking care of your aging parents and in-laws together while managing your kids is bound to create friction in the marriage.
So it’s of utmost importance to know what issues you might face and how to handle them and prevent your marriage from breaking down from all this pressure.
Here are some of the common issues you might face with aging parents and in-laws and how to deal with tricky situations you might encounter along the way: