Visiting your parents mainly depends on what kind of relationship you have with them. If you’re close, you would want to visit more; if you aren’t, visiting once or twice will seem fine. It also depends on what kind of personalities you and your parents have, the values you grew up with, and most importantly, how far away you live from them. But one thing that shouldn’t be an issue is your partner stopping your visitations to your parents. If that’s the case, you should sit with them to talk about it before it becomes a more significant issue.
Many things change as we get married. While you might not be living with your parents, and it’s been years since you’ve been living alone or with a roommate, things still change when you get married.
As a bachelor, we’re not accountable for our every move, and we’re freer to visit places or visit family as often as we want. Married life tends to change our priorities.
There could be a power struggle or a matter of favoritism between your spouse and your parents. You can even be forced to think about how often you should visit your parents after getting married.
How close are you to your parents?
Before we start addressing various parameters based on which you can conclude how frequently you should visit your parents after marriage, it’s vital to consider your relationship with them.
Every parent-child relationship is different.
Some are very close, such as friends, where they share everything about their life; others are more reserved and like to keep their personal life private, only sharing essential things.
Your relationship with your parents determines how frequently you want to visit them.
While there’s no right answer, some might think visiting once a week is good for them, but the same could be too much for others.
It also depends on how your parents feel about your spouse. If they bond well with your spouse, they wouldn’t mind spending time with them if they decide to come.
But if they don’t have a good relationship, you would be left to struggle between your spouse and your parents.
Deciding factors for how often to visit your parents after marriage
There’s no correct answer to this question. Every family is different, and every child and parent relationship is different.
Sometimes, we’re really close to our parents; other times, we grow apart to grow close again. There’re no set rules to maintaining a relationship.
But there’re some parameters to think about which can make it easier to know how often it is right for you to visit your parents.
1. How far away do you live?
Consider how far you live from your parents as one of the parameters. Distance is a major factor in any relationship.
If you live close by, it can be easier not to spend much time traveling, so the frequency of your visits tends to be higher. But if your parents live far away, you can’t just drop everything off and go visit them as often.
When living close by, you can drop by their house on your way to the grocery store or stop by when coming back from the office. But when the distance is more, you must carefully plan an outing with them.
2. How busy are you?
Another factor to consider is how busy you’re, which can change from time to time.
For a certain period, we could be swamped in our lives with our spouse, children, or jobs leaving us little time for our parents.
Other times we tend to have it easy in front of our spouse, children, and job so we can spend more time with our parents.
However, even if some children are busy with the above matters, they still tend to make a proper schedule to meet their parents.
Remember it also depends on your willingness and positive relationship to meet your parents.
3. Different personalities
Many parents and their children tend not to gel well together, and they are too different from each other or used to be close but grew apart for some reason. This can change the frequency of visits.
Sometimes the parent tends to be more aloof, and you might want to be more close. Personality differences can also change the frequency of visits.
4. Family values
Family values play a big role in determining how often you like to or want to visit your parents.
If you grew up in a loving household with a family dynamic that nurtures relationships and puts a great deal of value on them, you tend to be close to your parents throughout the rest of your life.
But if the household is such where everyone wants to live an independent life and you were taught to be the same, there won’t be much attachment.
So even if you visit once or twice a year that would be sufficient for you and your parents.
How necessary is your spouse’s approval?
No matter what is your relationship with your parents and how frequently you wish to or want to visit them, one thing that shouldn’t be a hindrance is your partner.
In most relationships, men tend to think of it as a hassle or an issue when their wife wants to visit their parents quite frequently.
Though things are changing, if this is one thing where you need your partner’s approval before you decide to visit your parent’s home irrespective of gender, then it’s something you two need to talk about.
Not only will it create friction between you and your parents, but it will also affect your relationship with your spouse.
It’s toxic when your partner tends to control when you should be visiting your parents.
If you wish to live closer to them so you can tend to their needs as they grow older, this is something your partner should understand.
Why visiting your parents is essential right now?
After marriage, our visits to our parent’s homes tend to reduce compared to earlier.
There’re always reasons you can’t visit them, but at the end of the day, frequently visiting your parents is essential, now more than ever.
As a newly married couple, we can learn many valuable life and relationship lessons from our parents.
Though it seems we have it together, if your parents have had a healthy relationship, there’s definitely something you can learn from them.
Their advice on things and relationships can prove to be more valuable, and this will only show them how much you care about them.
Though we might not show it frequently, our parents feel a sense of pride when we ask them for their advice or help with different issues.
After all, they’re only growing older, and visiting them is something you should start doing right now. As a child, we tend to live with our parents, seeing them every day.
But now, as an adult, it’s crucial to visit as often as possible to take care of them, spend some time with them, and, most importantly, not have any regrets later on.
FAQs
How do you take care of your parents after marriage?
It depends on what kind of care your parents require, which can help you determine the best way to help them.
You can support or help them financially or emotionally, depending on which one they’re in most need of.
While all parents love it when their children take care of them in both ways, you can observe and see which needs to be done more.
You can see their needs about their insurance or health needs, or you can shower them with love and attention by visiting them frequently or doing frequent video calls.
How do you set boundaries with your parents after marriage?
Setting boundaries with parents can be easier for some people but difficult for others.
Most parents tend to feel they aren’t valued much when their children get married and react in a way that can be pretty hurtful.
Another problem could be that they don’t like your spouse much, which can create unhealthy situations between your spouse and parents.
One way to set boundaries is by sitting down with your parents and talking it out. Be assertive but not emotional, as it can ruin things pretty quickly.
Nobody knows your parents better than you so you should know how to handle them.
Be clear about what kind of behavior is toxic and can’t be tolerated by you and your spouse.
Can a wife force her husband to leave his parents?
No spouse has the right to force the other to leave their parents against their wishes.
If you have a strong bond with your parents and your spouse for any reason doesn’t want you to be close to your parents, then it’s a red flag.
Although, if you have an unhealthy attachment with your parents and your wife wishes to live alone with you, that’s something you should talk about.
It depends on what kind of relationship you have with your partner and your parents.
How often should you visit in-laws?
There’s no right or wrong answer to it and no specific number of visits you should make to your in-laws.
It totally depends on the kind of relationship you have with your in-laws and the relationship your spouse has with his parents.
To summarise
There’s no perfect answer regarding determining how many visitations should be made to your parent’s house.
It depends on various factors, and you should consider all of them. Sometimes we want to visit more but can’t seem to and if that’s the case, try to visit them often as your parents are only growing older.
If your spouse is hindering you from meeting your parents or frowning upon your frequent visitations, it’s better to sit down and talk to them about it before it becomes an issue between you two
